A grumble is a protest, firm but reasonable, about a wrong which can be changed.
Being passively grumpy is not enough when you have a complaint; you must also grumble.
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There are four prevalent cultures about complaining, only one of which relates to grumbling.
Firstly, there are those who a stiff upper lip like a badge of courage. No matter what happens, they tell themselves they mustn’t grumble, mustn’t complain. They are doormats.
I know many people who have payed good money to be taught ‘a positive mental attitude’. I keep meeting so-called saintly people who believe in self sacrifice – their masters and betters know what is right for them – and who are held up as shinning examples.
Literature has been a great tutor for an attitude of subserviance… like the heroine Pollyanna, in a 1913 novel by Eleanor Porter, finding something to be glad about in every situation.
Earlier literature created Pangloss, in Voltaire’s satire Candide , who taught his willing pupils “all is for the best, in the best of all possible worlds”.
In the biblical Book of Job, Satan took the poor man’s wealth, his children, and his physical health. Job protested his plight to God (not a real grumble, mind you) and pleaded for an explanation. God told him, roughly, “Brace yourself, like a man.”
In the mind of the old Greek philosopher Epictetus, all external events were determined by fate, and are thus beyond our control. No point in groaning then. We should accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. A good stoic, said Epictetus, should remain “sick and yet happy, in peril, yet happy, dying yet happy, in exile and happy, in disgrace and happy”.
Second, there are those who do little about their woes, except moan and pull a long face. We’ve all met, perhaps lived with, people who are snivelling petty nitpickers, who constantly complain and rend their garments. But they do nothing concrete to change their situation.
Full of hurt feelings and grievances, they bellyache and gripe.
Early blues were such laments put to music. Full of personal woes, in a world of harsh reality, blues singers passed on news of lost loves, cruelty, oppression and hard times.
Negro blues evolved into country songs guaranteed to make listeners feel worse by the verse, but never really righting wrongs. A classic anthem of woe in many pub jukeboxes is the BJ Thomas version of ‘Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song’.
Then. thirdly, are complainers who see their role in life as Avengers. These are an angry, cross, crabby, and petulant crew.
Road rage is a typical example. That you might be a nano second slow to pull away from a green light is a red rag to their bull.
Or, there are harridans who berate a trainee in the supermarket because the price of a bar of soap has scanned higher than the shelf ticket.
This lot vent fury, spray spittle and rave at the smallest provocation, and not change things a jot for the better.
Blessed are grumblers however, for without them nothing in this world would ever improve. We see grumblers as the fourth group of complainers. Grumblers have best odds for getting their way.
An early Australian philosopher for ordinary folk, Walter Murdock, wrote of a an early version of grumblers. He called them growlers.
“It takes a wise man to find fault wisely. To see precisely what is wrong, to point the finger unerringly at a defect, to say boldly what you dislike in anything, from a pair of boots to a system of philosophy, from a gas stove to a religious creed, from a new picture to an ancient social institution – this is no work for a fool; it calls for all you have of wit and wisdom”
Today, grumblers have improved the skills of good natured complaining. They complain with purpose, not for the pleasure of suffering a grievance.
For a true grumbler the Serenity Prayer, as written by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1930’s, is an ingrained standard operating practice:
Lord grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
A grumbler recognises it is futile to cry over spilt milk, but would like to know why it was spilt.
‘Grumpy’ is a state of mind, a feeling of helplessness, and a discontent at being impotent to improve the situation.
“Grumbling’ is a state of mind which allows for a belief that change can happen, complaining with strategy.
